I'm not supersticious,

What, the Hell?

2011-03-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

What up, blog readers? It's been a while.

No time for chit-chat, let's dive into something that matters.

Our beliefs about heaven and hell matter. Rob Bell wisely said something to the effect of "what you believe about heaven and hell matters because they reflect what you believe God is like."

So here are my questions for you, dear reader: (IF I get some good responses on this, then I will probably post my (partially formulated) beliefs on hell.)

Is there a place called hell? If so, what is it like? What is its function?

Is there place called heaven? If so, what is it like? Is it filled with spirits, humans, or something else? What is its function?

I look forward to reading your thoughtful responses.

Justin

Grateful

2010-03-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Grateful:

For who I am
For Whose I am
For what I am
For where I am
For when I am
For who I have
For what I have
For when I have
For when I have not
For what I know
For what I will know
For what I don't know
For what I will never know

Have you been Subversively Reformed?

2010-03-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

My friend Travis Keller recently made a post titled "Are you contemplative?" on his blog, Subversive Reformation. Semi-inspired by that post, I decided to write this one. It is in jest.

Did you recently purchase thick rimmed glasses, regardless of whether or not your vision required them?
Do you find yourself shopping exclusively at Express or its regional equivalent?
Have you recently found yourself as part of a photo shoot in a graveyard?
Do you have a young daughter whom you believe to be a profound theologian?
Have you given a talk within the last 18 months regarding the color of specific fruits?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may have been subversively reformed. You have two options:
1. Embrace it. If you're male, you may soon find yourself as an Oakwood RA, SLA, or SGA member.
2. Fight it. It may be emergent, and we all know that is bad. Call a dr. Preferrably a Reverend Doctor of the Old-school persuasion. He may be able to exorcise the emergent/post-modernism out of you.

My week

2010-03-04T21:28:00.000-08:00

It's not that I'm not used to disappointment, it's just that it's so... disappointing.

The Christmas Season

2009-11-29T18:34:00.000-08:00

That most wonderful of times is upon us yet again: The Christmas Season. Yes, it's Christmas time. Time to light a fire in the fireplace, sip some cocoa, wrap presents, and listen to songs about murder and infidelity.

"Murder and infidelity! What?!?!" you may say.
"Yes. Our yuletide airwaves are full of them!" I'd reply.
"Shocking," you respond.
"Indeed," I say.

What are some of examples of these songs that distract from the true meaning of America's favorite virgin birth?

Murder: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Note the horrified expression on grandma's face as she realizes her impending doom. Click for the video. Ok, so maybe it's not exactly murder, but due to the fact that "our friend" Saint Nick failed to report this traffic related fatality, it's at least vehicular manslaughter or negligent homicide. Hey Kris Kringle! I do say there's such a thing as Santa, and I think you deserve 25-life!

Infidelity: Murder wasn't enough for this jolly fellow, Santa Claus. No. He had to hit on your mom, too. Click here to hear the shocking tale. Maybe this bizarre event was the one that drove Michael to become the strange man we knew in his later life. I know I'd be permanently scarred from such a shocking series of events. Hey Santa! Stay away from my mom. Maybe seek marriage counseling along with Mrs. Claus. Poor lady, she probably didn't even know until she heard the song...

This post is dedicated to Grandma, Michael Jackson, and all those discerning souls who are searching for the true meaning of Christmas.

The Myth of Christian Positivity

2009-10-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest pet-peeves is what I call "the myth of christian positivity". This myth essentially states that it is a Christian's job to be positive at all times, regardless of the circumstances.

"Certainly there aren't people who are really like that," you might say.
But yes, yes there are. And they have the most loving intentions.

You see, many of these people are simply trying to be like Christ.

"We're called to be encouragers!" they might say.

Yes. Yes we are.

But aren't we also called to be authentic? I think that the world sees things that are fake each and every day. And they're great at spotting these things.

You know what I think we need? Christians that are authentic. That are honest with themselves and the world around them. Christians who recognize that some situations have shades of gray. Individuals who will recognize that sometimes circumstances just suck.

Let's offer hope and peace, absolutely! But let us also be willing to recognize that not everything's o.k. Let's meet people where they're at in their suffering and sit with them for a while. No one's happy all the time. So let's not try to be. People almost universally value honesty. Let's build a relationship and talk with these people about a person named Jesus. A person who sometimes drank; a person who met people in their suffering and engaged them.

Let's be Jesus and engage with honesty and openness and most of all, love.

Where?

2009-09-10T13:29:00.000-07:00

Where is God in the midst of hectic schedules? In a life filled with reading, reading, meetings, more reading, and more meetings? In mandated chapel attendance, broken card scanners, press box burnings, and H1N1?

He's in an iced mocha from mcdonald's. He's in fake characters named Rick. He's in laundry that smells like Tide with a hint of lavender®. He's in health care debates and tort reforms and textbook revelations. He's in the occipital lobe and the cost of modernization. He's in distributional justice and fresh-cut grass.

He's all around. Do we notice him?

Summer Series: Entry 1

2009-06-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

This begins what will be a series of questions that I have had and am currently discussing with a few friends. I'd love to have your feedback. I have some ideas of my own on these, but I'm genuinely interested in what you will have to add to the discussion. No real theme to these. Just honest questions of a 20 year old college student.

What role does/should the bible play in our lives?

How much authority should we give the bible?

Is the Bible fallible? How do you define fallibility?

Why are you a Christian?

Honesty

2009-05-07T07:49:00.001-07:00

"I've been mad at you for a long time, ya know? It's been hard for me not to ask some really tough questions of you in the past 3 years. So many things have gone wrong. My best friend is gone. My parents are split up. My whole family kinda fell apart. There have been so many nights where I've just laid in my bed and tried to talk with you. But I haven't spoken with you- I've just spoken to you. I want to have a conversation, but I can't hear you."

"Things are still falling apart. I've called you so many times, but you don't answer. So I leave a message. But you haven't answered. I want to hear your voice, see your face, find you in this vast world, meet up with you somewhere- I'd go pretty much anywhere.

Is this a race that I just keep losing? Is this a test that I'm failing? If there's an expectation that I'm falling short of, I gotta tell ya, I'll never meet it. I know that I'm not enough, and I believe you want to be in a relationship with me, but I need to hear from you. I can't do this on my own anymore. I know that. iwanttohaveYouinmylife."

"I think you will find me. I just hope it's soon. Don't wait too long, ok? I need you."

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
-The Fray

Current

2009-05-03T17:42:00.001-07:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Jeremiah 31:3-4

2009-04-27T19:15:00.001-07:00

When things go bad, people here at MVNU (as well as in almost any church) often say, "Don't worry! God has a plan!"

God's got a plan alright. But as far as I'm concerned most of that plan is dealing with how to fix stuff we screwed up.

Here's how I see it: Just because God has a plan doesn't mean it's necessarily going to come true. An omnibenevolent God does not have a plan that involves his creation falling out of his good graces.

He doesn't have a plan that involves millions of people dying from a preventable epidemic like malaria.

God's plan was for a perfect world, and we screwed it up. Fast forward to the good news- he has a plan for redemption. He's fixing things now and using crappy throwaways like me and you to do some of it.

But when things go wrong, don't tell me it's part of God's plan. I think God hates suffering as much as we do if not more.

Thanks, Cameron Crowe!

2009-03-05T11:22:00.001-08:00

"You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. That's true greatness to me."
- Elizabethtown

Home?

2008-11-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

At church camp, which I attended every summer, the speaker would always say something on the last day about how hard it would be for some kids/teens to go back home and live their faith out. Some of them had home lives that were not very conducive to the christian life, others had families that were just unsaved, others had home lives that were just abysmal.

I always felt a certain level of empathy for these other kids. I could not imagine what it would be like to try to hold onto your faith with parents that did not believe or an environment that was difficult. "It must be something you have to go through to understand," I thought.

I was right.

Coming to Fostoria any more is hard. Both the town and my family have gone downhill. I've been staying at my mom's over break and it's actually really difficult to stay here. This place doesn't feel like home; my mom doesn't even seem like my mom. At least not the one I grew up with. I long for the feeling of home that was so present in my old house- when my family was all together. I miss the Christian mom I grew up with that loved Jesus and taught me to follow Him by living her life in a way that looked like Him.

I miss something that won't be back.

Even more motivation for me to be a strong leader for my future family. I want my kids to have a home that feels like home, and parents that teach them what to do instead of what not to do.

I'm ready to get back to school! :)

Welfare and the Church: A Reflection

2008-10-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

Are welfare and socialized health care simply our ways of having the government take care of a problem we don't wish to deal with on a personal level?

Which requires more of us: Caring for the orphans and widows, the sick, the imprisoned, and the poor through our churches and our personal giving, or simply paying more taxes and having the government care for them in our stead?

Father, please help me to not be simply another question-asker amidst a sea of often answerless questions. Help me to FACILITATE the change YOU wish to see in the world.

Reconciling Reality

2008-10-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

Today I said goodbye to the fourth member of my family who's left too early within the course of the last three years- my aunt Amber. Although we were not extremely close by any means I found myself taking the loss much harder than I thought I would. I found myself grieving not only the loss of my aunt, but the loss of my grandfathers, the loss of my best friend- and in some ways, the loss of my family.

The majority of my family is alive- but we are not together. For a lot of complex reasons much of my family is not really involved in my life any more; and this is a very sad thing. Some have distanced themselves from me and I've distanced myself from some. They may be living, but I have lost them in many ways.

I'm not alone- Jesus lost people in this way too. So, when I think of Jesus hanging on the cross I think not only of his physical pain, but also of his cognitive and emotional pain. What was it like to have lived an entire life for everyone else, only to have the majority of them reject your message outright? Perhaps what's worse was those who claimed to follow his message, but left him to die by himself. What was going through his mind? How much did it hurt to "lose" those closest to him?

I want to pursue my family- one of my heart's deepest desires is to have them fall back in love with the person who gave so much for them and allow him to draw us back together. Him, the only one who can heal our broken hearts and broken lives- the one who captured my heart so long ago. I've spent so much time at school trying to block them out of my mind so I can focus on what I need to do to better myself. At what cost was this? I come home now for the first time in four months to sisters who are taller, a brother who is smarter, a mother (who never calls) that I no longer know- and her boyfriend who I don't care to know, and of course a workaholic father who's life has fallen apart but is trying so hard to put things back together. I wonder if it is worth it; I truly don't know. All I know is that my response has been to harden my heart, avoid being worried about them, and turn off my emotions as much as possible.

This morning as I think about Jesus I think about the Jesus of the book of Mark. In Mark, Jesus is emphasized as the suffering servant. He ministers all of his life amongst a hard-hearted, cold people. They reject him; he dies naked, cold, and alone. I'm blown away by his pursuit of reconciliation despite all of this. While I'm not there yet- I know my hard heart will be, and is being, reconciled to his. I'm hopeful that those I've lost metaphorically and I will be reconciled someday. I know that this is God's will for us. And I'm hopeful that I will see those I've lost in the physical way again.

Some of the last word's Christ ever uttered were: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do". These words come only be spoken because of what the Father had said to his people long before. "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt". Christ is our sole route to redemption and reconciliation. I will trust in Him

On a day like today

2008-09-27T12:16:00.001-07:00

I can't help but be thankful for nothing more than the life I have been given.

I've had a lot of time lately for reflection and thinking- and although what occupies my mind most often are the trivial things of life, I've also been working through and thinking about that which matters most to me and perhaps should matter most to all of us- relationships.

Our God is a relational god. In the beginning He walked amongst us. When we screwed that relationship up- He still manifest Himself to us in other ways (e.g., a pillar of fire, a breeze, by stopping the sun, etc). When things started to look especially dim He came down and lived amongst us again through His son, Jesus. Time and time again, even though maintaining His relationship with us was difficult due to our shortcomings and sinfulness, He did whatever He had to do just to be with us- to fix our brokenness, to heal our wounds.

How are we like God in our relationships with others? Do we strive to help the wounded? Do we reach out to those who seem least reachable- or do we work with those most similar to us? not the lost and broken, but perhaps the Jaded and the Cynical- the middle-class American Christian. What holds the top priority in our life? Our time, our homes, our work, our money? What good are any of those things if we overlook the people we are surrounded with?

When I look back on my life at the end, I will not think about all the A's I got, how clean my apartment was, how many awards I won, or promotions I was given. It won't matter what my net-worth was, or who I voted for. What will matter is how I treated those around me. How was I Christ to them? Did I meet them at their point of need or wait for them to come unto me? Did I spend my time caring for people? Was my house available and open to everyone? Did I work as though I was working for the Lord? Did I use my money to reach out to those in need?

There's no time like today to start asking the questions that matter.

Injustice

2008-08-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

How long will the faculty be kept in cages? Shouldn't they be free to roam about our beautiful campus? Why can't they eat where they wish? How long will this problem go on?

Intro Video

2008-08-21T16:48:00.001-07:00

Mad props to Travis Keller.

I like the Pope.

2008-08-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

"Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to Him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us?...And once again the Pope said: No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation....When we give ourselves to Him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life." -Pope Benedict XVI

The Dark Knight Questions

2008-07-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

1. Can a person deserve something "better" than the truth? What sort of context would call for this?

2. What is the difference between the leader (hero) a people need and the leader they deserve? How can you be the leader that is needed while becoming the leader that is deserved? Is this possible?

Questioning Christianity

2008-06-14T23:09:00.001-07:00

This post begins what I believe will be a series of questions I have been dealing with regarding the subject of Contemporary Christianity. I do not have answers to these questions nor do I fully believe the possible scenarios implied by my questioning. I am simply submitting them for your thoughts, dear reader.

The first question is: What if Paul's understanding of Christ's words and deeds was incorrect? I suppose by asking this I am in actuality questioning the validity of any of the New Testament writers (other than those who wrote the Gospels) interpretations. How much of our Theology is based upon the thoughts of those other than Christ Himself? What would Christianity look like if we only had the Old Testament and the Gospels?

The most important thing

2008-06-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

You know what really makes our lives special? People. Earlier today as I sat in my apartment's living room by myself, I realized this. I mean, I've known this, but I guess sometimes we can convince ourselves that if we simply fill our lives with enough stuff, or live in the right place we can be happy. If we can have enough fun, we won't feel the hole that's in our hearts. Now, I could say the thing that is perhaps a bit tired here on the beautiful campus of MVNU, "Only God can fill that hole!" I do think that God can help to make us feel content, but I also feel that God has made us to desire being in relationship with others.

For a lot of my life, I thought that if I could just get out of Fostoria, away from my parents and on my own, everything would be alright. I thought staying here on campus this Summer would give me some much needed time to myself. But the problem with that thought is just that: I'm by myself. I don't know if I've ever felt lonelier in my entire life. I think there are two distinct factors that are contributing to my lonesome state.

1. I push people away. If I get really close to someone, I start freaking out about what's going to happen with the relationship. Due to everything that's happened as of late, I'm kind of afraid that the people I care about are gonna leave. I mean I've been left by a lot of people: various youth pastors, pastors, both of my parents (in many ways), and my best friends (Jordan died, Brad gained a girlfriend and lost a spine).
2. I run from God all the time. I completely understand that God has neither left me nor forsaken me. God actively pursues me, and I actively run like the wind away from him.

I hope that this realization will finally push me over the edge of change.

The Office!

2008-04-09T21:38:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness, The Office® returns today at 9! Call your mom, dad, cousin, and mailman! It's gonna be a wonderful episode.

Coming soon to this blog, a long post about my experience over spring break in New York City. It could potentially be great.

The Pursuit of Contentment

2008-03-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

Contentment is something I really struggle with. . .

There are two huge situations happening in my life right now: the first of which I cannot talk about, and the second I'm not at liberty to speak of. This makes it difficult to blog.

However, I will say that life is changing. Why do I find it so strange when this occurs? Change is inevitable; yet it always catches us off guard.
Life is ok right now- but I'm not ok with ok. I believe in my heart that I was made for a purpose and life that is so much better than status quo. How can I be content? I'm learning that comfort does not equal contentment.

Doesn't it suck when God lets you choose?

Definitely, Maybe

2008-02-25T17:24:00.001-08:00

Over the weekend, Lyndsey and I went to see the movie, "Definitely, Maybe". It was really good. I especially liked its portrayal of the fact that there isn't just one person for each of us. We have possibilities!

Anywho, this is a great film with really good acting. I highly recommend it. You should go watch it right now.

2.15.2008

2008-02-16T21:01:00.000-08:00

Today was beautiful. I don't mean aesthetically.

It actually started off badly. I had made plans to catch up with a friend who I've kinda drifted away from, and at the last minute they cancelled on me and I don't understand why. This had serious damper potential on my day.

But then I went to Sips. . .

Troy, Ryan, Bennett, and myself departed around 1:04 p.m. for Sips, and we had a great time talking and sharing. Joe Farmer got there around 2:30 or so, and he told us we should sit on the couches. Thanks for the excellent advice, Joe! We then sat and talked some more, and eventually an old man came up to us and told us a story/gave us a history lesson regarding the following things: George Washington, George Bush, the Revolutionary War, the Dollar Bill, a millionaire from Belgium, Winter coats, drunk Englishmen, tanks, tank mines, Black televangelists, one or more four-star generals, and a paralytic. Needless to say, we all learned a lot!

Then after Sips we went to Wal*Mart. On the way there we came across the Ron Paul Revolution®. We didn't join, but we did honk and wave. At Wal*Mart I got some essentials, as did the other guys, and after some video-game hunting we went back to Mother Oakwood.

From Oakwood, Bennett, Ryan, and myself went for a walk. It was great. We went down to the reflection pond for some serious reflection. We decided that the ice was too unified, so we broke it into smaller pieces. A great time was had by all- except maybe the ice that got broken up.

After the pond, it was off to the caf for some talk. Then a select group of us, Lyndsey, Joe, Steph, Ryan, and I went to the 586. We had some good food, good convo, and watched some neat videos/listened to cool music.

When our food was finished we headed to the Pioneer RA office and started Fever Pitch. Then TK texted Joe and asked if anyone wanted to come over for some Phase 10. So we went over to TK's apt; but due to extenuating circumstances he couldn't hang with us. We stayed anyway and chilled with Sarah and finished Fever Pitch. It was a lot of fun! I was shocked that such a nice place was in some way connected to Oakwood!

That, dear reader, is the day that was. It was amazing to hang out with good friends and learn more about them.
All in all, it was a beautiful day.

Truer Words....

2008-01-27T21:10:00.001-08:00

"Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.”
-Dan in Real Life

whatev...

2008-01-11T21:26:00.000-08:00

The people you care about make you the most upset.

I am irrational.

Take Time to Realize

2008-01-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

V1:Take time to realize,
That your warmth is.
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
C: If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
V2: Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by..
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no its never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you
-Colbie

Thanks for a beautiful day, Jesus. It was beautiful, and I really needed it.
I see you everywhere!

Two Things.

2008-01-04T23:10:00.000-08:00

One, Juno is by far my favorite movie I've seen this year! It was absolutely wonderful! I really don't have time to talk about all the things I liked-because there were a ton. One I will mention is that it has a really cool soundtrack. I'm currently arguing amongst myself about whether or not to purchase it on iTunes. (I just set up an account.)

Two, it would be really cool to be in love.

End.

Shortness

2008-01-02T15:47:00.001-08:00

I'm back at MVNU and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me this year!!!
Wahoo!

Simple Things

2007-12-29T13:01:00.000-08:00

Simple things make me happy.
Sometimes I forget this. I surround myself with stuff. Stuff is expensive. I don't need stuff to be happy.
I need the following:

Jesus.
Christ.
Yeshua.

That's about it.

However, I do also like the following things-

Grandparents. Especially mine. I stay at their house over breaks, since my mom's house is a bit small for me and Aidan to stay there. My grandparents are amazing. They take a tough situation and make it better. Just today grandma taught me how to make punch that has a "kick"; yet is non-alcoholic. As I type this, my grandpa is in the background whistling, "Ma Liki-liki Maka" from Christmas Vacation. :D
My little siblings. They're ridiculous and crazy, but they always make me laugh. Just the other day my 7 year old sister, Hope told me that I am "wonderful". My 4 year old brother, Trevor thinks that i am a mountain, and makes me grab his arms so he can climb me.
My family. Last night I went to "Bob's" with my grandparents, Aidan, and my little cousin Jalen who now refers to himself as, "Lord Jefferson Steelflex". My new name is "Dr. Rick Teasdale, psychologist" and Aidan is , "Kenneth Noisewater, M.D." I bet Jalen U.S. $10 that I could get our waitress' #, but called it off when we decided she was not what we would consider attractive. We laughed more than we ate, and discussed church politics. The G-Rents told Aidan and I that we should start a church in Fostoria. We declined, 'cause Nazareth didn't like Jesus.
Friends. Tonight, my broseph Brad and I shall be losers, and go to our highschool basketball game to join the student section in taunting Ottawa-Glandorf.
End.

Does Jesus Want to Fight Santa?

2007-12-24T12:49:00.000-08:00

So, I was talking to my grandpa the other day, and he asked me how I felt about Santa-more specifically, as Christians, should we encourage or promote the belief in Santa Clause since Santa tends to overshadow the celebration of Jesus' birth?

My response was this: can we find Christ-like themes in Santa Clause? Yes- Santa loves all people, yet is just. Santa promotes giving, (not spending) and is a bringer of joy. The actual "Saint Nick" brought hope to the poor as he would throw bags of money through windows. Why can't we show Santa some love, while continuing to emphasize the person of Jesus and the importance of his coming?
We could use the metaphor of Santa as an instructional tool for our children (not that I have any of my own). I.E. Just as we look forward to the coming of Santa, and watch for his arrival on Christmas Eve, Israel was waiting and watching for their savior. Just as Santa brings gifts that we did not earn, The Christ would bring grace that we did not deserve.
Do we need to through the Santa out with the bathwater?

I Lost a Friend: One Year Later

2007-12-20T16:44:00.000-08:00

As I sit here on this cold Thursday in December, I'm reminded of where I was last year on December 21. At four o'clock I was working the final hour of my shift at McDonald's, and was surprised to see my best friend Jordan come through the door. He had come to remind me of his Christmas program at his church that night in Toledo, and asked me if I had my Bible in my car. I was somewhat short with him, since I was working and everything, and told him that I didn't have it; it was at my house. He said ok, and that he'd see me later. In my hurry I ended our conversation with an abrupt, "See ya later!" Had I known I would never see him again, I probably would've thought of something more meaningful.

I've thought through that exchange hundreds of times. What would I have said had I known? My first reaction is that I would tell him not to go, as he would not make it all the way to the church that evening. But what if I couldn't save him from the accident that would claim his life? What if all I could do is let him know how much he meant to me?

This is what I would say:

You mean the world to me. You've been the best friend I could ever ask for. There's no one I would have rather played Thomas the Tank Engine, Lego's, Transformers, or a "gun game" with. In our teen years there's no one I would have rather killed repeatedly in Halo (was it like 15 times in a row that one day?). I had a blast when we did our homeschool work together, even though we often didn't get much accomplished. As we got older there was no one who listened as intently to my hopes, dreams, and fears as you. I really didn't mind that you dated Christal after I did. I'm actually really glad you did, because it got her to leave me alone!

I'm glad that I was able to be there for you through your parent's divorce, and thanks so much for listening to me complain during my parent's; thanks also for a person to cry with, as well as laugh with and provide a safe place for me to just get away from the fighting and everything. I'm also extremely glad that the bond of our friendship has been strengthened by our mutual faith in the God who loves us. You've been the best friend I could ever imagine, and I'm so thankful that God made it possible for us to be such great friends. I will miss you more than you can fathom. I Love You. And I will see you again.

Advent Mood

2007-12-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

I'm going to start this blog off on a positive note: life's pretty crappy right now. I'm in a transitional phase. Things are changing, and it's been a rather interesting first semester.

Life's never quite what you expected; can I get an amen? I guess if it was expected it would be rather boring. Currently, I am single, (which I would have thought to be an impossibility had you asked me in August), just finished my first semester of college with all A's (Score!), am contemplating switching from a Youth Ministry to Psychology major, and am spending the Christmas break at my grandparent's home in beautiful Fostoria, OH. (Come for the trains, stay because you've been shot in the spleen!)

I'm constantly made more aware of my need for a Savior. I feel pretty bound and far from Home right now. Much like in our Christian calendar, I'm in a somewhat dark, reflective phase right now, but I feel that hope is coming, and has come. This time is difficult, but it won't be here forever.

To this phase of my life, I say: "The Sun will set for you!" (A special thank you goes out to Linkin Park for a song that's pretty sweet.)